So, we are closing in on the end of 2020. I go between thinking that I have no words and having ALL the words. Like once I start talking about the weirdness of this year, I am not sure I will be able to stop.
My life looks and will look very different than it did a year ago...If you heard the podcast you probably know most of what I am going to share, but I have a new one for you...Let me give you some bullet points:
We are expecting baby #4. We didn't stay 6 feet apart during quarantine, clearly. This (not so) little guy is due late January. And in case you were wondering being pregnant at the age of 38 is very different than at the age of 26 when we started having kids. He is really big, I am trying to negotiate about moving the due date up, but my Dr. has assured me it doesn't work like that. Also, I am hungry all the time. People will ask what I am craving and I'm like "What do you have?" It's wild. Enough said about that. Sorry if this pic creeps you out...I think he looks like big bro and may come out the size of a toddler.
We are homeschooling. There are some really sweet and encouraging moments, but man- just like parenting, this is not for the faint of heart. On the plus side, my kids have read more books in the first 10 weeks of the school year than I think I did the first 16 years of my life. They are so smart and for that, I am so thankful. And I think they are thankful that they get to sleep in a little more and wear their jammies or underwear almost all day.
We got a puppy! This was an unexpected surprise. I love dogs and have wanted one for a while and Derek gave the green light. So we are having a baby and got a puppy within a few months...what can I say #2020 She is beautiful and smart and lovely. Her name was Peaches, I like the idea of calling her Georgia, so basically she has two names and it's fine. I have to choose my battles at this point.
So there's a little update. A lot has changed, but a lot is still the same. Even in the craziness our home feels cozy and safe, our church family is a great source of encouragement and support, and I am thankful for the amazing team I have the honor of working with. While it has been a year of all kinds of stress, uncertainty, challenges, and very real loss, it is also a year of our lives...and we can't just throw it away or waste it complaining about it. I am working diligently to find the beauty and to lean into the things that give life to my soul. Simple things. Walks and talks with friends. Phone calls. Walks/bike rides. Podcasts. Creative time. Quiet time. These are not complicated or expensive, but they have been essential for me this year.
I hope this year hasn't only been a dumpster fire for you. I hope you are able to find the beauty because it is there, even if it takes some effort to find. And I hope, as we look ahead and dream of what will come in 2021 that there is not only anxiety of uncertainty, but hope and excitement as well. There is room for both- for the hard and the good things, that is something that I feel like I am learning a lot of in this season. And I am not sure I would have chosen to learn this lesson in this way, but I can't control that. I can only control how I respond. So I am leaning in and learning as best I can. I found this blessing and we have read it as a family several times, so I thought I would share.